He Kept His Promise
by ProfessorSnapeScream
Summary: Snape faces his fears by going to Lily and James' funeral.


It wasn't extremely hard to dress for her funeral, considering that the only things in his closet were black. All Severus had to do was toss the Dragon Heart salad and feed the cat, and then he could leave to go to what might be the worst hours of his life. Severus dreaded them, but he would at least get to see James Potter in his right state: dead.

He made it to the Muggle funeral home exactly on time. While entering the ghostly building, his mind wandered to other things. People prepared dead people for a living here, then put them on display like toys in department store windows. Maybe, he thought, if I ever decide to run away from the Wizarding world into hiding, I could do this for a living. I'd never have to talk to anybody, and I'd get to spend time with myself. Yes, that would be the life.

Severus was shaken out of his dream land when the bowl in his bat-like claws fell out of his hands and shattered on the floor, and landed on a pair of immpecably clean slippers. After he quickly muttered a cleaning spell, just in case a Muggle was in sight, he looked up at the person he least expected to be at Lily Potter's funeral.  
"Still following her after all these years, Severus?" smirked the lady in the neat berry cocktail dress.  
"Thought you didn't care about her, Petunia, with her 'abnormality' disgracing your family." retorted Severus. He could feel his face burning in anger. Last time he had been this mad at Petunia, he had almost lost his friendship with Lily.  
Not that they were friends much longer after that. 

Petunia could remember it clearly too, as she gingerly touched a spot on her head absentmindedly.  
"Dumbledore made me go." Petunia said as they walked toward the larger group of people.  
"I thought you would be at home, attending to the hero Potter clone." growled Severus. They were getting closer to the caskets, laid side by side. Elder, they looked like. Severus was not wand savvy. He liked to focus more on what they produced, not how they did it.

"Vernon is at home, watching Dudley." she sniffed.  
"But what about Harry?" asked Severus casually. He hated the boy's father, but what if Lily was watching him? He couldn't just let that happen to him.  
"He'll be fine." said Petunia stiffly, through suspicious eyes. She could tell there was something fishy going on.

They made their way through the small crowd of black-robed figures (finally, Severus didn't feel like a Grim among phoenixes.), when they ran into a familiar, jolly looking old man.

"Hello, Professor Dumbledore." said Severus respectfully. After all, he was his boss now.

"Hello Severus. And you," he said, acknowledging Petunia's presence, "Must be the lovely Mrs. Petunia Evans Dursley. Enchante." he said smoothly, kissing her bony hand. "You will, of course, will be going to pay your last respects to your dear departed sister now, am I right?". His eyes then twinkled the way they did when he was trying to get somebody to do something he wanted done.

"Yes Professor, we will be going this very moment." Severus walked in front of the small ensemble over to the caskets.

There lay two people, both from opposite sides of his spectrum of emotions, looking like they were taking a short nap. But it couldn't be that easy. Severus decided that it would be easier to start with James first, then deal with his last good-byes in private.

"Ahem, um...hello James. It's me, Severus." he mumbled awkwardly to the living mannequin. "I just wanted to say thanks for, um...saving my life...um...good bye now." Severus turned around to go to the next casket, but instead he ran into Dumbledore.

"May I have a word, Severus?" he asked.

"Not a problem, Professor." he replied. Dumbledore did not make a move to go over to a more secluded area, but just stayed put where he was.

"I know this is hard for you. When I had to-" he cut himself off mid sentence, like he, Saint of the Muggle-borns, was about to let a nasty secret fly. "This is a part of life. Letting things go. Yes it's hard, but you'll be okay."

"I _am_ okay. Do I look like I'm suffering to you?" he snapped while picking wood slivers off of James' coffin.

"_Listen_. You told me how much you loved Lily, and that all you wanted was for her to be safe when Lord Voldemort came. It was very selfless, yet selfish. You did not care about the state of affairs concerning her husband or son. All you wanted was her. She would have wanted you to care more about her son's life than hers. Do you understand me?" Severus knew he was waiting for a response, but he couldn't bring himself to say yes.

A long silence hung between them for what seemed like ages, until finally Dumbledore spoke again.

"You know Severus, the boy does look quite like his dad." Severus nearly got a splinter up his thumb, he was so startled to hear him talk again. "But I bet you a hundred Galleons, he will grow up to be more like his mother. He does have the same eyes, and as Muggles say, your eyes are the window to the world." His eyes sparkled again. Did Dumbledore's view on the world have tinsel draped around it or something?

"I-I-I think I'm ready to go see her now." said Severus holding back sobs.

They crossed the line of people waiting to see the great James Potter over to the smaller one belonging to Lily. There were a few people here, including Remus, who stopped Severus to chat.

"Why are you here, Snape?" he asked with incredulous eyes. When his met Severus' puffy red ones ones, his mouth opened wide and he exclaimed "Oh, no, no, no! _You,_ Severus?"

"How could you have not known all these years, with me hanging around her _every single bloody moment I could?"_ Severus said through gritted teeth. Lupin just stared him for a moment, and finally answered.

"Well, you know me. I wasn't exactly paying attention all the time, having my nose buried in a book half my life." Severus just rolled his eyes, and continued over to Lily's casket.

There she was, fiery red hair cascading over her shoulders, her hands crossed over her body. She did look peaceful, except with a kind of sorrow illuminated by the paleness of her skin. Severus was tempted to slide her eyelid open to see her eyes one last time, but then he remembered: that's gross. He could only stand there and imagine her eyes open and wide, with that perfect smile that made his heart melt. He kneeled to the ground, put his hands to his eyes, and whispered. As he got up, he took a lily from inside his cloak, and slid it into her hands. How cold they were! Last time he had touched them, they were warm and welcoming. He then kissed his fingers, and pressed them lightly against her cheek. She had stolen his first kiss, and now that she was gone, Severus doubted there would be any for him ever. In that moment, he vowed never to love another woman again. He would die unmarried and childless if he had to! And he would protect Harry, but secretly, so even he wouldn't know. Severus whispered again, "I promise you, Lily. I love you, and I always will. Rest in peace." He wanted to keep how she looked in his memory forever, but there were people in line. As soon as he got ten feet away from her, he burst into silent tears that only he would know ever existed.


End file.
